Comments (0) Just yesterday afternoon, I crowned Delonte West the CRAZIEST DUDE IN THE NBA, with Ron Artest a close second. Well apparently Ron Ron is a reader of Bucketnotes, because he came back strong today at Lakers training camp:
As a 10 time defending champ of the CDITN award, you knew Ron wasn’t going down quietly. Well played sir.
Ron Artest Has All The Appearances of a Perfectly Sane Person (Sportress of Blogitude)
Between his KFC rap, his Jim Rome is Burning correspondent piece (click here for video), and his recent arrest for carrying two handguns and a shotgun-in-empty-guitar-case, Delonte West has officially claimed the title for CRAZIEST DUDE IN THE NBA.
Ron Artest came in a close second, but we need Ron-Ron to step up his game if he’s serious about contending this 2009-10 season.
(Marbury is disqualified as we really can’t consider him an NBA player anymore- but he would have won this award by a landslide),
Delonte West Arrest (CelticsBlog)
I really just can’t picture Allen Iverson sitting down at his computer and registering for a Twitter account, but that is what the Twitter craze has come to. For some reason the NBA’s best players have adopted the social networking site more so than any other professional sports league.
And its resulted in some pretty great moments this NBA offseason. We saw the tip of the iceburg when Shaq and Dwight Howard’s Twitter habits took off, and we’ve since been lucky enough to experience that special brand of crazy from Ron Artest, Steph Marbury, and Mike Beasley.
Aside from actually breaking stories and revolutionizing the way we get our sports news (Kevin Love announcing the McHale firing, Iverson announcing his Memphis deal), the entertainment value has been off the charts.
With the free agent signing period grinding to a halt, there’s no better time killer at work for NBA junkies than perusing players’ Twitter pages.
A few of my personal favorites:
96TruwarierQB(Ron Artest): ARTEST IS SO HOOD, VERY GHETTO AND LOVES IT. HOWEVER THERE IS SOME INTELLIGENCE WITH THAT, AND WITH THAT COMES PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE HIM FALL
BIRDMANANDERSON: This beard is no joke. I’m about to have more hair in my face than Marv Albert going down on a Greek prostitute in a windstorm.
StarburyMarbury: Q for queens. Come to justin.tv/starburytv where queens are queens and kings are kings. Love is Love The MomenT
CV31 (Charlie Villanueva): Feeling like Dr. Phil, this morning, last session I discussed marriage, next topic, baby mothers
Cardinal_Brian: Potty training my son…. He just pooped in the tub… Not sure he fully understands the idea…..
THE_REAL_SHAQ: Attention all scrabble players, question, is pigsriot a word
nickcollison4: Sometimes the bathrooms @ the park are so nasty u let your kid go in her pants while u hold her cause theres no way shes touching that thing
eddycurry: i know its late but i slept thru the draft i do it every year. i sleep thru it just in case i get moved. ill know when i get up
madsen_mark: …anybody out there have a good website on gun laws in LA County? Just curious….it’s been a long time since I lived in L.A.
Nate_Robinson: Yo I went to the bank and got 1000dollars in 2dollar bills, I got to the store and pay 4 my stuff, and the people look at me like wat is dis
Keep ‘em coming…..
A List of Every NBA Player on Twitter (HoopedUpOnline.com)
Players’ tweets keeps fans well fed in lean summer months (NBA.com)
I’m not sure there are any other candidates, but this has to be the greatest KFC rap of all time. At 7 minutes, the video is a little long, but its worth watching every second.
I was a little skeptical that Delonte’s “cousin work here, get that hook up every year!”…until his cousin comes out and hand delivers their $47 order.
4 different types of Parfait on yoo ass!
Sadly the video has been taken down, but Ball Don’t Lie has some great quotes from an interview he did when he was with the Celts:
“Twenty years from now, you’re going to see me riding in a drop top hummer buck naked with some ankle socks on and a headband on—Boston Celtics headband on—standing up driving from Boston to California. That’s what I’m going to be doing.”
“I like to paint murals of the ocean that I see beyond the horizon, because I feel if — in order for us to grow, we gotta know. In order to love the brother man, you gotta know the other man. One fish, two fish. Red fish, blue fish.”
“You can’t kill a G. Bugs Bunny is a G. I want to be Bugs Bunny. I would pay to be Bugs Bunny for one day.”
While We’re Waiting… Delonte West Video Freestyles - KFC, McDonald’s and Chipotle (Waiting For Next Year)
YouTube of the Year: Delonte West, Uncut (Ball don’t Lie)
The Dunkin’ Dutchmen. One of the best professional athlete mullets of all time, but sadly he only rocked it for a couple seasons. And as a result, no trading card exists that really captures the essence and magic of the Rik Smits mullet.
So I was forced to go to work in Microsoft Paint:
You just know he is going to throw down the patented Rik Smits dunk shot here….not quite dunking but kinda spiking it through the hoop, mullet flappin’ in the wind. Sweet Pumps by the way.
Some Rik Smits trivia for you:
Let me preface this by saying I’m a loyal reader of Henry Abbott and Truehoop.com (an ESPN blog), easily one of the best basketball blogs out there. I don’t consider Abbott to be an ESPN guy however, as his blog was purchased only a couple years ago, and his daily posts follow the same format and style as they did when his blog was independently operated. If ESPN knew what they were doing, they would just let Abbott run their whole NBA section.
But unfortunately that is not the case. Instead, their NBA frontpage is one of the laziest and least informative basketball sources out there. Just check out their headlines section today:
“Wolves sign free-agent C Hollins to offer sheet” has been the leading headline for 2 goddamn days!!! Why??? This is probably the most irrelevant free agent signing of the off-season. Not even the most ardent T-Wolves fan cares or is even mildly excited about having Ryan Hollins on their team. Its not like this has been a slow NBA off-season either. There are about 100 pieces of NBA news from the last 2 days that should lead their headlines section over Ryan freakin’ Hollins. Just to name a few: Iverson/Felton/Big Baby/Ramon Sessions FA status, JR Smith telling the world he is a member of the Bloods via Twitter, Earl Watson playing for the Mexican National Team, the owner proposed “super luxury tax,” what Lebron ate for lunch)
Other than TrueHoop, their NBA section offers NOTHING worthwhile. If you want any actual information, you need to be an “Insider.” Granted this is only like $3/month, but you could just go to Hoopshype.com and read the same shit for free.
Also, gotta love the auto-play video advertisements on ESPN’s homepage these days….If it weren’t for Bill Simmons, Abbott, and Streak for Cash, I literally would never visit ESPN.com.
Nice little signing if I do say so myself. A low risk, possible high reward signing for 1 year at $1.3 mil. Hopefully he still is motivated to shed the label of draft bust (#5 overall in 2006, taken ahead of Brandon Roy and Rudy Gay). Definitely an upgrade from actually using Robert Swift, who I personally hope never sees the floor all season.
Also one of the greatest nicknames in the NBA. Especially for a player who doesn’t actually deserve a nickname. Despite being an underacheiver on the court, The Landlord is definitely an overachiever off it:
In my humble opinion, Candace Parker is one the hottest chicks in the WNBA, ranking only behind Sue Bird. Although truth be told I only know 3 WNBA players.
Well, We Didn’t See That One Coming (CelticsHub)
I Swear I did the Best I Could: 10 Hottest WNBA Players (As Long As They’re Done up) (Uncoached)
If I didn’t know any better, I would guess a youth Luc Longley jersey would sell for somewhere around $15-$20. And I would be dead wrong. The ‘Buy it Now’ listing price for this fine article of clothing is $72.99. Yes, you read that correctly. Seventy two dollars and ninety nine cents.
I first thought to myself: “$72.99 for a child size Luc Longley jersey?? That doesn’t make any sense.” But if you dig deeper, it makes perfect sense. Just check out the eBay seller ID: “NBA-JERSEY-KING.” The man has over 2,000 eBay sales to his name (all jerseys I assume?), so he clearly has a better grasp on the NBA youth jersey market than you or I.
Do you really think the NBA JERSEY KING would price himself out of a potential sale? I think not.
LUC LONGLEY THROWBACK NBA BASKETBALL JERSEY RARE (eBay)
Great commercial. As a side note - Adam Morrison is going to make $5.2 million in 2010. WTF? Following the Tyson Chandler/Emeka Okafor trade/salary dump, I’m starting to think the Bobcats might have the most idiotic front office in the NBA. Morrison was drafted as a “pure shooter,” yet through 2 full NBA seasons he’s shooting just 37% from the floor.
Not quite sure what the Lakers thought they’d get from him, but at least they got Shannon Brown in the trade, who ended up being a key player for them in the playoffs. Either way Morrison will be lucky if he plays 10 minutes a night next season. Which breaks down to $6,342/minute. Not bad work if you can get it.
I loved Morrison in college and I wish him luck, but if you’re a “shooter” who can’t really shoot you’re gonna have a tough time staying in the league. He did average 20 PPG and 5 RPG in the Vegas Summer League, so maybe he’s fully recovered from his knee injury and can turn his career around. Who knows…
Anyway, his ridiculous salary inspired me to check out the worst per minute salaries in the NBA last season. I was going to include “Best” per minute salaries as well, but most of the best value contracts are guys still on their rookie deal.
To give you a frame of reference for post rookie contracts on a minutes played basis, below is the breakdown for King James. It goes without saying his would be considered a “best case scenario” contract.
$4,715/minute ($2009 Salary: $14.4 Mil, 37 MPG, 3,054 Total Minutes)
Without further adieu, I give you the worst NBA contracts of 2009 based on minutes played. A serious injury is grounds for omission from this list (T-Mac), while being fat and lazy is not (Eddy Curry & Jerome James):
Eddy Curry (Knicks) - $808,333/minute (2009 Salary: $9.7 Mil, 4 MPG, 12 Total Minutes)
Jerome James (Knicks/Bulls) – $620,000/minute ($6.2 Mil, 5 MPG, 10 Total Minutes)
Jermaine O’Neal (Raptors/Heat) – $10,606/minute (2009 Salary: $21.5 Mil, 29 MPG, 2027 Total Minutes)
Marko Jaric (Grizzlies) – $10,859/minute (2009 Salary: $6.57, 11 MPG, 605 Total Minutes)
Matt Carroll (Bobcats/Mavs) – $8,116/minute (2009 Salary: $5 Mil, 11 MPG, 616 Total Minutes)
Brian Cardinal (Twolves) – $6,930/minute (2009 Salary: $6.3 Mil, 14 MPG, 909 Total Minutes)
Bobby Simmons (Nets) – $6,130/minute (2009 Salary: $10.6 Mil, 24 MPG, 1729 Total Minutes)
Adam Morrison (Bobcats/Lakers) - $5,849/minute (2009 Salary: $4.15 Mil, 13 MPG, 711 Total Minutes)
DeSagana Diop (Mavs/Bobcats) – $5,646/minute (2009 Salary: $5.85 Mil, 13 MPG,1036 Total Minutes)
I would be remiss if I didn’t include these three in this post, but since their salaries can’t even be calculated on a dollar per minute basis I threw em down here:
Stephon Marbury (Knicks) – 2009 Salary: $20,840,625, 0 MPG, 0 Total Minutes
Antoine Walker (Grizzlies) – 2009 Salary: $9,052,460, 0 MPG, 0 Total Minutes
Jamaal Tinsley (Pacers) – 2009 Salary: $6,750,000, 0 MPG, 0 Total Minutes
Funny how often these terrible contracts were traded, and in many cases for each other. As everyone knows, it was Isiah Thomas who inked Jerome James, Starbury, and Eddy Curry to long term deals …. But somewhat disturbing is the fact that current Knicks GM Donnie Walsh signed both Jermaine O’Neal and Jamaal Tinsley to their deals. Not exactly confidence inspiring for Knicks fans….
I’m sure I missed someone, feel free to add anyone you can think of in the comments section.
The Charlotte Bobcats have Absolutely, Positively No Idea What They’re Doing (The Sport Count)
NBA Salaries (HoopsHype)
If you didn’t catch any of Starbury’s 24 hour Internet broadcast/stream of consciousness on Friday, you missed the most bizarre and entertaining episode of the Marbury saga yet.
He fielded questions via live chat, sang, danced, cried, swam, ate, played ping-pong, and most importantly let us inside his mind for over 24 hours straight. NBA Musings has the complete transcript here, but I’ve included some of the highlights (and lowlights) below:
“Do I believe in aliens? I don’t know, because I’ve never seen one. But I believe in Jesus because I saw him in the shower the other day”
“Going bald at 19 is not sexy. Its not the jump-off”
“Sometimes I count the cars when I’m bored”
“First tattoo - 14 years old, panther”
“Sings: I could be your superstar baby.. you’re my diamond girl… you’re the one… can’t figure out how i feel…”
“You say I’m a bum with 20 million? Hey, would you want to be a bum with 20 million? Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! x infinity”
“I’ll be a bum for seven dollars and a blowjob? Hahahahaaha. They tryin to put me in a box! Its impossible!”
“Yeah I did that. I had sex with a girl in the back of my truck. I made a mistake. I had a boo boo and I messed up. Now what?”
“7pm is ladies only”
“My moms. She’s like Matthew, Luke and John.”
“The say eagles fly above the storm. I’m not an eagle. I just gave you a parable of what an eagle does”
“Politics? Nah. I ain’t into politricks. I ain’t into the politricks business. I don’t wanna trick nobody”
“No, I never sucked no wee-wee before. Next question.”
“Michael Jackson? I wanted to meet him. I still want to meet him. One day I will meet Michael Jackson.”
“I’m gay? I’m not gay. Crackerberry, Crackleberry, Stupidberry, Stupidstephonberry… whatever you got…”
“I did not tell you guys that I was high. Not nice. You trying to break me down. Not nice”
“You’ve gotta thank ‘em for a bowel movement. You’ve gotta thank ‘em for a bowel movement”
“Do I pick my nose? Yeah, I pick my nose. Then I go wash it. I’m just like you”
“When did I lose my virginity? I was molested as a kid. That’s a little different. My virginity was taken from me”
“I get elbowed by Shaq in the head. Maybe that’s why I’m crazy”
“I’m going to set up a foundation for the world. I’m going to take the money and start building cities all over the world. I’m a comet. My man told me I’m a comet. I said, ‘I’m a comet?’ ”
UPDATE: Apparently Marbury is back at it…check it out HERE
Marbury 24 Hour Transcript (NBA Musings)
Stephon Marbury Streaming Live for 24 Hours! (UStream)
The Marbury Question (CelticsHub)
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